Sharp Tooth!

I was at Target a few days ago - and I realized I was nearing the end of my toothpaste. I am also nearing the end of my shampoo AND conditioner but I can't remember everything in one trip apparently. I digress. While in the toothpaste aisle I decide that my teeth need a little spruce up as well and I should buy some white strips. Since I haven't determined if I'm a believer in the white strip yet - I just went for the 7 days of generic Target brand which were like 1/2 the price of the normal brand. I'll try them out. If they work like I want them too - perhaps I'll upgrade next time.

So I get them home and yesterday morning - after a really bad night sleep and needing to get up super early because I had a GIANT day ahead of me...I stumble into my bathroom and have enough clarity to remember I wanted to whiten my teeth while in the shower. So I take out these gems.

Here is my problem with said "strips".
a) they don't actually look like strips to me. It's more like a blue piece of cardboard. Let's call an apple and apple.
b) they stick to your teeth like to other. I'm fairly certain if they do whiten your teeth it's only because they're peeling off any layer you may have. After this - my teeth will probably be white, but will rot out of my head due to lack of enamel.
c) Don't shape the back side of the strip to look like TEETH! It makes the putter-on of aforementioned so-called strips think that part should go in the FRONT. And since there are cleverly no instructions in the box....you can see where this is going.

Only after I realized I didn't have teeth like THIS GUY..
(Sloth, not "Chunk". "Chunk" appears to have very lovely teeth)
did I realize the strips were on backward.
Seriously if I would've been on a show like Big Brother where the world could watch my life - this might've been the demise to any credibility I once had in life. I was seriously trying to match up the notches with my teeth. Thinking - so seriously I'm going to have like 3 white teeth in the front? That's gonna be ugly! Yes at 5am we're all a little S-L-O-W. Some more than others.